Someone once told me that I'm blessed with friends. Indeed, I am.

{14/10/2015, 00:45}

Someone once told me that I am blessed with friend. I thought I understood it. 

But a few days agos, I revisited this thought, and realised that I understand it differently now. What I had thought before was superficial, now its deeper and maybe ook back and say oh, I hadn't understood it well enough before. But right now at this part of my life, this is what I think should be. 

I am indeed and most definitely blessed with friends. And although I contribute it mostly to luck and I don't know when this luck will end. I am ever grateful, like I always am.

Even in this time, I am blessedthe future me, may l with friends. In Singapore, I am blessed with friends who each one in different ways took care of me in different aspects of my life. And I won't lie and say I don't miss my comfort zone with them. 

But here on OSEP in Spain, I am blessed with friends that teach and enrich. Not that my friend back in Singapore don't do that. Just that I feel so enriched in the sense of culture and customs that I might not ever have to chance to learn if I stayed.

I am blessed with friends. Indeed, I am. And as always, I am thankful.

Just to clarify, friends here always includes loved one 😉

Letter to myself: 240215

{New beginings}

I believe that everyone has their own life path, regardless if they create it or they follow fate. We meet all sorts of people along the way. Who becomes important to you? Or who starts fading aways, leaving your life? Its often different for everyone. Take example, in classrooms, we are given equal chance to know everyone, but who you become good friends with, is all different.

A lot of times, we meet people cause we're at similar stages of our lives or we have events that bring us together. But in the end, all of us have our own individual lives and I must learn to embrace that.

Your life may not be as glamorous as others but so long as it's worth while to you, it's good enough.

There will be times when you'll be afraid, really really afraid. And there will be times when you'll feel fed up and just want to quit. And there will be times when you'll feel lonely like you're all alone. But all i am saying is, there will be tough times, but do you really want to quit now? Constantly remind yourself why you're doing this. The experience will be worthwhile.

I don't know when it started. But this period marks the start of me creating a life I want for myself.

And for now, jazlyn ching. I think you're doing a pretty good job and I'm proud of you :)

"I'm trying my hardest to be the bravest I can be."

To those I've lost contact with.

I believe its high time I moved on and shut off.
Goals and objectives change.
Now, my needs and wants are different.
It was seem very selfish, but I never said I wasn't.

Was scrolling my contacts and chats, and deleting those that I no longer talked to.

Some, I just felt like meh.

Some, I just felt like you're a nice person but i'm sorry we didnt become closer.

Some, I am really grateful for your guidance and help before. I will never forget it, even if I no longer have your contact.

And lastly, some, who had meant so much to me before. I swear you were important. But alas, our relationship couldn't last the test of time. It could be cause, I didn't make the effort, or it could be you, or it could be the both of us. Whichever way it was, I'm sorry, it ended. And towards the end, regardless what reason, I choose to leave.

"If one day I ever do, disappear or fade away from your life slowly. Do not worry. For I am a coward, and I'm leaving cause I fear. The pain that's to come when you do. Cause forever is a fairytale."

I won't ever forget what I went through with all of you, from the mehs to those who meant shitloads to me.

But I'm sorry.

Let's not get hung up on the past.

To accept that life is ever changing
Is to not get hung up over what people have said or done.
A person could have been rotton and have said or done plenty of bad thing.
But after changing to be better, he/she would also have changed to say and do good things.
Now, if we were to get hung up over what the person has said before, we would still deem he/she as a bad person.
But that wouldn't be true, would it?

Thinking back, I've definitely said and done a lot of things I do not mean. And it honestly eats at me.
Cause I feel like I am not practising what I preach.

But I guess I am using this to console myself.